Spicy Conversations
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Last night I had a great convo with Zilla; it opened my eyes to a lot of ideas that I possibly subconciously thought, but had maybe never vocalized. Here are a few excepts. I hope you enjoy.
zillasays: can u tell me what the fuck is wrong with yall when it comes to getting gifts for your men?
zillasays: yall suck
kreedle: i dont know
kreedle: im pretty on point most of the time
kreedle: but that is because i think like a dude
zillasays: really? example please?
zillasays: cuz my birthday is coming up as you know
kreedle: this dude i liked in high school played football
kreedle: i decided i would by him two football towels-- you know the ones the QB's wear-- his school colors were blue and white so i got a blue towel and a white towel and had his jersey number and nick name monogrammed on them in the reciprocal color
zillasays: i've been deprived of that good shit.
kreedle: what else have i gotten him umm lets see ....
kreedle: oh he was missing TEXAS food so I told im I was gonna send him some What-a-Burger-- he was like "dont tease me by the time it gets here itd be likely to kill me"
kreedle: well i dont know if you have ever been to what-a-burger but they give you a very distictive number to hold onto until ur order is ready so-- i asked the manager if i could buy the his high school and college jersey numbers the manager let me have them-- and i sent them to him so he could have a bit of What-a-Burger in up north

some other stuff said

: damn, you need to write a tutorial for the women out there.
kreedle: lol right
kreedle: its not all that great
kreedle: or we would be together
kreedle: i really do/did love him
kreedle: and i think that is the main reason i am not willing to be with anyone else-- im not willing to give that much of myself ever again
kreedle: lots of reasons, the distance, i'm sure, is an issue, and the fact that i get tired of him realizing that he is letting me get close then pushing me away
kreedle: like things would go well, then really well then he would randomly do something or say something just fucking stupid
kreedle: besides that hmm he merely doesn't care; sometime i think he wouldn't bat an eyelash if i fell off the planet tomorrow

some other non essential crap

kreedle: dude the way i see it, when/if a guy comes around and we make that type of commitment, its because he is ready not because i pressured him
kreedle: i wouldnt want to ever believe that my marriage could be the result of me pressuring him into it
zillasays: YES!!!!
zillasays: you!!!
zillasays: make clones!!!
kreedle: lol
kreedle: it's just logical
zillasays: a lot of people can't comprehend logic though
kreedle: like i know-- not because he pressured me -- but because i do. i feel it in the pit of my stomach-- and ya know what maybe im just feeling it for me, and if that is the case i CAN'T feel it enough for the both of us-- he has to not only make that realization but also accept it and not be force fed it
kreedle: it old you i think like a dude
kreedle: u didnt believe me
kreedle: a lot of chicks think they can love enough for the both of them if she can just get him to commit
kreedle: that never works
kreedle: you can never love enough-- and quite frankly- im not willing to love enough for the both of us-- i need my love tank to be refilled and it cant be if im the only one giving love because i'm trying to do enough for two people
zillasays: this is a legendary convo!
kreedle: i will have to be replinished
kreedle: i am not willing--although i have-- to be in a relationship where i feel like im loving a lot more then he loves me -- and as concretely as i translate this scripture and as much as i hate bringing the bible into things-- it says husbands love your wife... never does it say wives love your husbands- [why? because that will come women are going to give love to someone who loves them] a man, i feel is not necessarily the same way
kreedle: ah im off my soapbox now
kreedle: not legendary -- just real
kreedle: u know how long i have loved -- not "been in love with" but loved this dude? since i was sixteen; i am twenty-two years old now
zillasays: yeah you're crazy
kreedle: maybe im crazy
kreedle: but im not pressuring him to love me back either-- and i'll have to accept that he probably never will
kreedle: but if he does and he waits too long and someone else scoops me up then that will be unfortunate for him but as for right now-- im not looking but im not pushing away either
kreedle: okay off my soapbox for real
zillasays: this guy gotta be something amazing for you to be willing to wait for him.
zillasays: and im sure that the bible says that for husbands because God KNEW that from birth women are groomed to think the best thing in the world is getting married and to nag.
kreedle: not all women
kreedle: i dont nag
kreedle: lol
kreedle: im not waiting for him
kreedle: like im not gonna push away someone who may be my unexpected mr. right
kreedle: but i think he is amazing
kreedle: but i dont know why
kreedle: i cant put my finger on what makes me so awestrucken by him
kreedle: why him
zillasays: crazy?
kreedle: and i have asked myself that questions, but then i think that if i could answer that question -- then that feeling would go away
kreedle: most married couples [wo have stayed marreid and happy] to whom ive spoken have all said "i just knew" people who "just knew" didnt know why but they knew
kreedle: see
zillasays: that's retarded
zillasays: there is a reason for everything.
zillasays: there is no such thing as a magical attraction
zillasays: "i just knew" doesn't work.
kreedle: i think there are components to which you may be drawn

Thursday, March 03, 2005
  The Ten Commandments with 1209
A Boy: I'll have to read your blog, then bust some Michael Eric Dyson for u
A Chick: its only a bashing on those who are causing a muck with thie ten commandments thing
A Boy: lol, what do u mean?
A Chick: now the damn liberals are saying its an enfrigement on seperation of church and state to have the ten commandments on display on government property
A Chick: arrugh
A Chick: fucking knit picking over just anything
A Chick: first it was "under God" and school prayer
A Boy: lol, ha ha, i got some stuff for u
A Chick: the ten commandments are not there to win peopl eover to christianity
A Chick: and it is apart of the cornerstone of American history
A Boy: like Jesse Jackson said, the 10 commandments on the wall, but no justice in the land?
A Boy: lol
A Chick: it was reference material for those who crafted our laws, our bill of rights, its a moral code, and a piece of our American History
A Chick: fucking knit whites
A Chick: *whits
A Chick: arrrugh
A Boy: lol, maybe
A Boy: problematic though
A Chick: only because of knit picky people
A Boy: lol, no, because y does it have to be there?
A Chick: the same reason a foundation is laid in a house-- the moral code that is the ten commandments is a part of the foundation that created theh nation in which we live-- its there for the same reason there are references to te Magna Carta in government buildings
A Chick: its apart of our effin cornerstone
A Chick: shit
A Chick: im pissed
A Boy: that's the surface, but that same 10 commandments which is for justice oppressed u, and those who looked like u
A Chick: u and your fucking race issues are beyond me
A Chick: is about slavery to you
A Chick: every-fucking-thing under te sun
A Boy: lol, maybe, but never forget history
A Chick: the sun rose in america when your ancestors were slaves
A Boy: ok, and?
A Chick: so the sun doesnt rise in america for you -- it rises fo rthe white man
A Chick: lord JESUS
A Chick: right and the 10 commandents are apart of OUR AMERICAN history
A Boy: maybe, not mine though
A Chick: why do you live here?
A Chick: if nothing in america is for you, then why do you live here?
A Boy: i am america
A Chick: no you're not
A Boy: i am, black made this country
A Chick: u did not make this country
A Chick: maybe your ancestors did
A Chick: but you didnt
A Boy: lol, yes, they did
A Boy: and it's because of them this country is so great
A Chick: because of them -- WE HAVE COTTON
A Boy: ok, and many other things
We all have a few conversations we wish we could share with the world. Here are a few of mine.

03.2005 /

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